Jimmy John’s
My lunch today at Jimmy John’s Sandwich Shop was so disgusting that I feel the need to take a brief break before getting back to work to warn you to never try this disgusting place. The food is so low-rent. It costs MORE than Subway but you’re getting even worse meat, soggy vegetables, and bread that feels like it came from a NASA storehouse. Honestly, these sandwiches have all the flavor of a future sandwich that comes in pill form. I’d rather eat a gas station sandwich.
In addition to that, the whole place is decorated with these tired old “funny” signs that talk about how “the customer is usually right.” Does anybody read that, laugh, and say “This is the place for me. They GET me here. They get me.”? It looks like it was decorated by some 49-year-old single The Office fan that doesn’t get that real life isn’t a sitcom. Not every square inch of real estate needs to be covered in a 25-year-old joke.
Now, I don’t know much about the Frito-Lay Corporation but I’m sure if I did my research I’d probably hate them just as much as most of the megafoodcorps I come across. That having been said, I’d punch myself in the face 50 times to get some of their chips instead of the mediocre “Jimmy Chips” that Jimmy John’s served. These things tasted about as much like a chip as Tang tastes like orange juice.
Of course, the service is terrible, as one would expect in a place that forces this much artificial, dated humor into its decor. I’m sure these people go home every night, unable to sleep as persistent Cathyisms like “Is it 5pm yet?” repeat in their heads. A delivery guy for the restaurant came in as I was leaving. The back of his shirt read “Soup. Salads. Hot Sandwiches.” Just like that, with the strikethrough and everything. Ooooh, Jimmy John’s, you’re so bad! You don’t have options and you don’t care WHO knows it! Am I supposed to be impressed? You should just have a shirt that says “Jimmy John’s: You could eat it.” That would be just as accurate.
Update!
You can check out the nutritional information for Jimmy John’s on their website. Their vegetarian sandwich has 30 GRAMS OF FAT. 90% of their sandwiches have over 30 grams of fat. Please don’t eat here, folks.
