Make Me Babies
As everyone I know keeps getting engaged and married, I’ve started to wonder more about the future. What are my prospects? Will I ever get married? And what about kids? And most importantly, what will those children look like?
Well, luckily, the fine folks over at makemebabies.com have set up a little piece of the web to help us figure out exactly what our unborn progeny may look like. It’s real easy; you just upload a picture of yourself and your partner and the site supposedly conjures the face of your future offspring. Things get a little wonky at this phase as the site asks you to resize the box over your face.
For some reason, you can’t change the ratio of the box you use to isolate your face which is perfect for those of us with perfectly square faces.
And if you’re a lonely sucker without a mate? No problem! Makemebabies.com allows you to choose from a selection of already-uploaded celebrity pics.
And that’s where it gets weird.
Oh sure, you have your selection of generically good-looking glitterati like Brad Pitt or Rihanna, but it also gives you the option of mating with Miley Cyrus.
Simply choose a baby frame and let the pedophilia run free! Part of me wonders if the people at makemebabies.com were aware that there’s something not quite kosher about letting random people on the internet make babies with a 16-year-old pop sensation. The other part of me assumes they knew and just didn’t care.
So what are the results of this virtual act that, if real, could get you arrested in 19 states? Well…
Oooook. I guess this is what our baby would… WHAT THE FUCK AM I TALKING ABOUT? That’s NOT our child. That is just some random baby! There’s no facial recognition software in use here! And is that even a real baby or just a baby’s face on some random body? Look at her arm! Is she taking a picture of herself? Is this my future child’s profile pic for FacebookBabies? FacebookBabies! Remind me to copyright that one.
Seriously kids, next time you wanna know what your baby’s gonna look like, just go into photoshop and use the clone tool. Or you can pay me to do it.
